Chasunah Guidelines

Question

Re: Simcha's posting about wedding spending. I agree that the Aguda guide lines are fatuous. It is fundamentally unAmerican to tell someone else how to spend their money. However, my real objection to the posted guide lines are the weasel words in the azharah. "...We the undersigned rabbis will not attend any simcha that does not comply with these guide lines EXCEPT FOR FAMILY COMMITMENTS AND OTHER EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES." (Extenuating circumstances being if the ba'al simcha is going to write a big check to my mossad.) If the undersigned rabbis expect to exert any moral suasion, those are specifically the affairs from which they should stay away. Otherwise it's just another case of "Do as I say, not as I do."