Lakewood

Question

bs"d B'kavod Harav, A close chavera of my wife is preparing to send her oldest two children to school in Lakewood. Her husband learned in Lakewood and comes from, for lack of a better description, a completely FFB background (i.e., ~9 siblings, all yeshiva-trained, sisters marry kollel men, father was a rebbi, etc.). The wife went to a "modern" orthodox high school, got an advanced degree in college (with which she supports her family, husband included), and spent two years in seminary in Israel. According to my wife's friend, there are three main Litvish non-chasidic schools available in Lakewood. As this family is not chasidic and does not speak Yiddish, these three schools are the logical choices. The "top" school is for "cream of the crop" kollel families only. She was told not to even consider it. One down, two to go. Moving on to school 2, when the interview ladies at school 2 heard that she went to a modern high school and not a "Bais Yaakov" or the equivalent quality school, they surmised that she must have had many a foreign influence in her life, which, of course, will trickle down to her children, who will, of course, contaminate the other children in the school. Needless to say, she was rejected by school number 2, of course. Two down, one to go. And lastly, the third school is considered the "nebuch" school of Lakewood, for children whose fathers have the chutzpah to have jobs and not sit and learn. She is waiting to hear their decision. So, if I understand this correctly, a city considered to be the center of Torah in the US, has three monstrous chadarim, yet this family, rejected by two of the schools, is now in a safek if they will be able to send their kids to school at all. Hmmm. Even a simple perusal of Hilchot Talmud Torah in the Shulchan Aruch HaRav leaves one baffled as to how chinuch got twisted like this. I can only imagine what it would be like if one of the parents was a convert!! Imagine that conversation!! "I'm sorry Mrs. Rabbeinu, but your background, despite your husband's learning, doesn't instill confidence in us that your avodat Hashem is on the level of what our institution is striving to achieve with its students. I am sure that little Gershom and Eliezer will get a fine education at the nebuch school down the road!" How do "Torah" (quotes mine) institutions turn away children? We are not talking about purple hair and nose rings here. A family doing everything right cannot get its kids into school because of someone's "oh-so-nebuch" past! A cheder rebbi who graduated from Telz Cleveland recently told me that in the days of Rav Gifter, ztl, all a student need to come to Telz was a desire to learn. Today, however, his own brother, who learns in the kollel there but did not attend the Telz high school, could not get his son into Telz. This cheder rebbi himself told me that he only got his son into Telz because he was an alum; they didn't say no, but they told him he should look for another yeshiva for his son! How does one uproot such warped hashkafot from ourselves? These are not isolated incidences. This stuff, and much much worse, happens to countless thousands of people and families constantly.