Mikva lady
Question
I recently faxed your father asking whether the "Patch" ( birth control ) constitues a hatzitza. He replied that it is not, and a woman can immerse in the mikve with the patch on. ( By the way, he gave us the heter to use birth control in the first place. ) My wife recently went to the mikve and right before she was about to go in the water, the mikve lady said she is not permitted to dip until she removes the Patch. My wife told the lady that her rabbi permits it. The lady did not accept and said if she does not want to remove it, she can go home. ( My wife removed it, of course, and dipped. ) But this is terribly upsetting. To both my wife and me. Your father writes in O.Y. pg. 323 that "the main job of the mikve lady is to make sure the woman dips fully, including her hair; and G-d Forbid should the mikve lady decide on halacha regarding hatzitza..." What can we do about this ? Have you had any experience in this, and successfully got the mikve to accomodate a woman who follows her own rabbi ? This was at Mikvah beit Tzipora, 523 Knigs Hwy, Brooklyn, NY 11223. Phone = 718-375-6660. I do not want to let this go on. Please advise what we can do.
Answer
Answered by Chaim Yisrael AbadiAfter seeing this post, my heart just fell and I felt the chiyuv to answer, even though it is 2:00AMish and I have a lot of work to do for a Shabbaton and wedding in the next 2 weeks This problem is one of the reasons why women don't like to go to the Mikva. It is a Chilul Hashem that a supposed Hashem's worker (a mikva lady) is chasing women away from Hashem's Mitzvot. They have no right whatsoever to dictate Halacha, especially to anyone who asks their Rabbi. I don't believe there is a Rov (real) out there who would agree to send a lady home if she would follow her Rabbi. Even in Lakewood, they are more in tune with this attitude. I'm not saying they are great, but they rarely say "our way or the highway". Unless someone specifically wants, they shouldn't be asking anything from you, just watching you go in. It is noones business, what you did to prepare to come to the mikva during the last day, week or month. Why don't they ask you if you wear a watch on Shabbat, eat Beit Yosef or eat Chalav Yisrael. Enough venting for now. You ask me what can I do. Next month go there. If she says to take it off. Tell her, I'm going down anyway. When you go down, make sure that your hair went under the water completely. (It is only a L'chatchila to have her watch you go in) If you are in doubt, you can even swim downwards if there is enough room. OR, as is written, you can bring along a loose net and go down with it on your hair. Don't let them ruin a beautiful part of being frum. AND like Rav Noach Weinberg said, "Never judge the Jewish Religion by the Jews". Please realize they are misguided individuals, who iy"H will hopefully see the light before they see the darkness. AND please forgive them. CYA