mixed seating
Question
I was in Rav Moshe Tendler's Shiur when he said that at his Chasunah there was MIXED SEATING. to quote him: It was not because the Choson fought for it, because the Choson was so happy with the Shiduch, he did not open his mouth." Please feel free to call him, either in Monsey or at YU, and I am sure he will verify this. If you don't believe him, ther must be some guests still alive who will all say the same thing. RAV MOSHE FEINSTEIN ZTL" made a wedding for his daughter with MIXED SEATING. Rav Tendlers father was a Rosh Yeshiva at RJJ to the best of my recollection, so perhaps the RJJ journal of halacha might like to take that into consideration. My understanding, and here I may be wrong, is that separate seating originated with Hungarian Chasidim, and in America, the home of the Chumrah, found a ready audience. Surely there is nothing WRONG with separate seating, But that does not make it a requirement either,just like the fact that there is nothing Wrong with drinking Cholov Yisroel make that a requirement. The fact is that for busy people, it is nice to spend time with ones spouse once in a while. Like the famous story of the emperors new clothes, it takes great courage to stand up against the latest chumrah, to say it is not our minhag. My own son, who comes from a litvish background has adopted the shtus of an upsherin for his boys, because everyone else is doing it. At best it is not our minhag. My Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Sheinberg, came to my sister's Chasunah, sat at a table with his wife and I have never heard a word from him that this was not proper. There are chasidim, who when they have guests for Shabas, seat the men and women separately. If that is your minhag, then by all means make separate seating at your wedding. But if men and women can sit together at your shabas table, they can sit together at your wedding too. It seems to me that for most of us, separate seating at weddings is a new innovation, and we all know what the Chasam Sofer said about new innovations, Chadash assur min Hatorah.
Answer
Answered by Chaim Yisrael AbadiIt could be that Rav Moshe holds it is Muttar. We are still looking for the Teshuva that he supposedly wrote about it. I hope someone out there can get it for us. My father asked me to try to get it. In reference to Rav Scheinberg, I remember my father sitting with my mother at a wedding in Deal a few years ago, also. The rest of the table was used by the guys from the Shul in Lakewood. Our point is that the parents making the wedding should not have mixed seating. If one set of parents want it, it may not be worth the fight, but obviously only for their side's tables. CYA