Rochella

Question

Rochella, I 've also lived in Lakewood my whole life. It definitely has become a verymessed up place. Many people will agree on that. But what can you do? The same way these people who are sending you letters can't change the world, we can't change them either. The only way to change other people is by setting an example for them; when people see other people doing what's right, that is the only way they may even think of changing, as opposed to other people telling them what to do- just like what people tried to do to you! However, unfortunately in Lakewood and in other communities like Lakewood, this won't really work for the most part because of the yeshiva society that pretty much rules our society. So you just have to forget about the other people, the messed up ones, and the most you can do for them is feel bad for them. They may never know the true happiness of being a Jew. They may go through life doing the mitzvos, thinking they are doing the right thing and I'm sure God will reward them because they did follow a rav. At least the laymen did; I have no idea what the cheshbon is for the roshei yeshiva and leaders that say the wrong thing. And that's all we can do. Just remember, you are lucky that you went through this, because if not, then perhaps you would have never come to realize the true beauty of Judaism. You wouldnt have tried to search deeper, because you would have been one of the many blissfully ignorant Bais Yakov girls out there, and then you might have even grown up into a typical yeshivish person worrying about everyone esle, and done to others what was done now to you. Lucky you! Really! I'm so happy that I was affected badly by Lakewood, thus making me seek the true happy way of living as a Jew. It's unfortunate that so much pain has to be involved but I know how you feel and I think we're of the lucky few in Lakewood who will come out of this place knowing what God really wants from us. So just smile, laugh, and don't waste too much time worrying about them; ignore what they tell you. I'm not even saying that you should go laugh AT them and make fun of them which is at least what everyone in Lakewood seems to do. People here are very cynical and sarcastic, myself included unfortunately, because sometimes that feels like the only way to get through it all. But we have to try not to be so cynical; the best thing though is to just laugh, be chilled, don't worry be happy! If not for our sake, for our children's sake. and if you truly feel it, then your children will too. Good luck!