shidduchim

Answer

Answered by Aaron Abadi

At 12 years old for girls and thirteen for boys. Maybe I didn't understand the question. Do you mean when is it time to panic? Never a need to panic. God has his master plan. Our job is to follow his Laws. If someone is not getting what they deem to be their fair share, then it is time to do Teshuva (repentance) and look into their daily actions to see what they are doing wrong. God is patient and will constantly give us signs that we better start getting our act together. After this is done, usually the rest falls into place. If not, then sit back and enjoy the ride. God has his reasons and he knows what's best for us. Praying for things should be three times a day with the prayer referred to as "Shemona Esrey," or "Amida." This is both for men and women. This is a prayer that includes all the Jews, and is the most effective way to pray. It is a strange thing in our society that women somehow decided not to pray, but the go to say Tehillim, hear Shofar, shake the Lulav and Etrog, and so on.... Prayer is for us. Instead of complaining all day, why don't we pray. Just that 3 time a day basic prayer. The rest of our efforts should be to review our lifestyle and correct those things that don't conform with the laws, including our character traits. Hishtadlut, meaning ones personal efforts to accomplish something, is different for each person. The first thing people must work on when dating is to be realistic. Look in the mirror and see what you really are, and then look for a match for that person. Everyone is looking for that perfect person, rather than the perfect match. People very often say no to dating someone because a specific flaw, that they themselves have, too. The guy with the receding hairline (7 or 8 inches) won't date a certain girl because of her thinning hair. The girl who is 4 foot 11 is looking for a 6 foot husband. Let's be real. Most people take a lot of convincing to get them to date someone. Then they get angry at people who present them with a Shidduch that is insulting.... They're trying to help. No one can know who's the one for you. They'll throw you names and you make a call or two and give it a shot. If you are still not sure, you try it again. Be real. Be realistic. Stop looking for a trophy. Look for someone you can live with for the rest of your life. Then leave the rest to God. AA