Baalei Teshuva

Question

L'Kavod Hatorah, I recently wrote this and I thought that this would be the best place to express this view. The people at this site are propably the only ones that still have the passion and HONEST connection to Torah to be able to understand the message. Thanks for all that you are doing. p.s. I know that it is a bit long, but I think its worth it. I am a Baal teshuva! Should there be any shame in screaming this out? I AM A BAAL TESHUVA! Do you have shame screaming this out? There is a worldwide Baal Teshuva movement going on, but really we should make it into much more than just a movement. We should make it into a Baal Teshuva Revolution. Movement for Baal Teshuva implies that they are moving from their oafish and secular understanding and into the utopia of the “Frum” orthodox world. It is the outmost joining of the klal, which seems like a great thing at first, but what if the klal itself is a false utopia? What if the system is built so poorly that so many of its members scream that “THEY WANT OUT!” A revolution on the other hand, implies a radical change and infusion of life into a failed system. A baal teshuva is the epitome of a person that has revolted against that fakeness, destructiveness, limited view of society and instead chose GOD. That’s right, GOD. A baal teshuva does not choose “Frumkite”; he chooses a relationship with the Almighty Himself. Is there a more powerful relationship than this? Should we not harness the energy of this relationship to uplift and correct all of the failures of the “Frum” matrix? Just think about what we are doing to ourselves when we take a brand new baal teshuva who doesn’t care about dressing like everybody else, knowing all the lingo, all the politics, but rather the baal teshuva has unlimited love for his fellow Jews, an unending desire to learn and pray, and an insatiable desire to connect to God! We take this soul that is on fire, and we make it like everybody else! We dress it up in black, wipe away the joy of learning by making it an obligation, and tell them to forget their past because it is beneath them now. How can we say that a baal teshuva should forget the pleasures that he has given up to be with God? How can we ask someone to give up his or her greatest journey!? How can we ask of someone who is on fire with his love for God to get rid of what has made him the person that he is!? You might be asking, “Why I am being so “dramatic” about all of this”? You might even be so comfortable that you cannot see the faults of the “frum system”. But, I just read an article (written by a system abidding FFB) that claims that an un-porportionat amount of kids from BT homes leave orthodoxy. The suggested answer of the author was that BT’s fail to fully integrate into the “frum” society and that the “frum” community should take steps to help them integrate better. I spoke to my Rabbi about the same issue several weeks before and my Rebbe said that the problem is that Baalei Teshuva made a choice to be religious and connect to God, but are being inconsistent in the fact that they wont let their own children make the same choice, but instead they try to force the religion down their kids throats (you can chose which explanation makes more sense). In other words, a baal teshuva has so thoroughly rejected himself and his own magical journey (or maybe Hashkafa Pratit would be better) that his own children can sense that something great has been lost. Their BT parents lost the fire that their neshama had and now they want to play it safe and limit their kid’s neshama. Please take a minute and think about the difference that you have noticed between the excitement of a baal teshuva one year into his life as a religious Jew and 10 years of “living”. It should break your heart how much the vast majority of them are just like everybody else, or are shunned as the “weird ones”. Pay attention to the difference of how they say their blessings (the careful attention of a beginner vs. the sleepy comfort of the “veteran”, how they pray (the confused but desperate attempts of the beginner vs. the quick and bored “veteran”, what they learn (beginners learn of the beauty and depth of Hashem, “veterans” only learn Talmud), how they dress (beginners expressing themselves vs. “veterans” limiting themselves, etc.). So to all of the Baal Teshuvas that are proud of their journey and want to always remember and be proud of the fact that they are the MASTERS OF RETURNING TO THEIR SOURCE, I recommend that they remain steadfast in their journey. Find ways to spread the word and change the world. To those that just want to join the masses, I beg that you remember why you wanted to be religious in the first place? Was it to eat cholent like everybody else on Shabbos, or to have a meaningful and deep relationship with your GOD?