staying home on passover

Asked by is snubbing family kosher for passover? · April 17, 2005 · Passover

Question

Dear Rabbis, There is a minhag I've recently encountered not to eat any meals outside the home on passover. Those who have this minhag do not accept invitations to eat by friends, siblings, and in some extreme cases, even parents. The rationale, I've been told, is that if one's policy is not to eat out at all, one can avoid insulting people by turning down their invitation due to kashrut concerns. Have you heard of this minhag? Do you know of any makor for it? What are your thoughts? Thank you, Happy Passover

Answer

Answered by Rabbi Abadi

This is a Minhag that gives a bad name to the word Minhag. It is a continuation of the elitist society many are trying to create. I think that is what Naziyism was about, destroying others, in order to raise themselves. No wonder we keep losing children to the Yetzer Hara. I don't buy the not insulting stuff very well. Instead of making decisions like that on their own, people should ask their Rov. If the Rov says they can't eat there without specific changes, tell your host. He knows that you are a little different. If it bothers him, thats his problem. Maybe it should be muttar to shake a lady's hand or better yet kiss her because she will be insulted. Yom Tov is supposed to be a time when all Jews are equal and join each other. It says at the end of Mesechas Chagiga Daf 26 amud #1, that after the Moed (Pesah Shevuot Succot) the Kohanim should go be Metaher (purify) the Azara (Rashi says - to take all the utensils of the Bais Hamikdash and purify them from the Tumaah of the non-learned person who touched the utensils). This Tumaah was such a serious problem that the rest of the year Teruma was burned if it became tame (impure). Yet, for the sake of the Yom Tov it was okay (not the Teruma). Another example, a Mishna on the same Daf talks about a Chaver that sells wine and breads to the people. Even though the foods are being touched by the non-learned and therefore should be tameh, they are not for the whole Yom Tov. However, after the Yom Tov, there is a Machlokes whether you can still sell the foods (and they are not tame) or you cannot sell them (and the foods become tameh). It is also brought down in a Mishna in Meseches D'mai, that a Chaver should go and eat at the home of a non-learned person on the Shabbos and just make a condition for Maaser before. There is no mekor, in fact, it is brought down to the contrary. Maybe this is why the Bais Hamikdash isn't here yet. I guess these people wouldn't go to that Bais Hamikdash, where everyone is welcome, when Moshiach comes (B'mihera B'yameinu). Maybe they will build their own.